Its been a while since my last post... things are going well here in St Gezzy. (lol) Christmas was good although I really really REALLY missed my family. I got a hour phone call with them and talked to everyone of them so that was nice. I felt bad because I couldn't make it up for Christmas... by the time the opportunity was given it would have been too late to change plans with out causing issues with other people. But overall I had a good Christmas. I got two amazing gifts that stand out above the rest. The first is the large sum of money my parents gave me for Christmas. It was such a blessing to get it and it is all going to bills and the eye doctor but I am so grateful for it and to be able to see again! I'm in need of new glasses and contacts so it all works out perfectly. The second gift I got was one from James. I had been needing a new journal for about a month and couldn't find one I liked (I'm very picky when it comes to journals. It can't have any words on it, like any quotes of inspiration or anything, not even titling it, journal.. I think that's so lame) Its gotta be big enough to write in, but small enough to carry in a bag. And not ugly! Pretty enough to make me want to write in it but not so pretty I feel I'm defacing it with my horrible hand writing. Picking out a journal is always very tough for me.. anyways, I was saying I was in the market for a new journal. So for Christmas James got me two! He prefaced the whole thing by saying i could return them and he would understand because he knows how picky I am over them.. But they were perfect and to be honest, much nicer than I would have ever gotten for myself. They both are Italian leather and smell amazing. Both are brown.. one dark brown with a hard back binding/cover.. its littler but looks just awesome. He said he got it for me because it looks like a real book and because the cuts in it look like architecture and he knows how I like buildings and things. the second book is a lighter brown with a bronze paint over it and it looks incredible. Both are gorgeous and perfect journals. It made for an awesome Christmas present because he put so much thought into it and it was a gift of something I needed, wanted, is useful and will last for years and not take up tons of space.

I'm trying to sale my car. its the biggest payment I have to make monthly and since I now work from home, its not like I really need it. If I do need a car I can always borrow one of the other 5 people's who live here or bum a ride from them or take the bus. 2010 I think will be my year of minimizing. After moving so much.. I've found I don't need half my stuff, and with lower pay and trying to afford to go back to school... it makes sense to try and lower all my bills.

Its been a really crazy year. A hard year. Getting through a divorce has pretty much sucked. Moving to Cali was a good thing as it made me figure a lot of things out about myself and its been crazy being on my own. I'm glad to be back in Utah and its weird to think I'm living in St George. I've truly learned to appreciate the value of my family. I miss all of the m everyday and It is so hard when I have to say i can't come visit for financial reasons. By far the weirdest turn of the new year has been me Dating James. He was going through a divorce long before I was and I never thought anything of it. I'd often talked with his mom through the years and when I said I was getting divorced she suggested he and I talk to each other... more for moral support, someone closer to my age going through the same kinda thing. He became a close friend and a comforting shoulder to call up. When he moved to LA to make sure I'd be safe I was shocked but also very happy to have a friend in that horrible place. Things progressed to where everyone thought they would and he and I began dating. He has helped me through a very hard time in my life and I am very grateful for his friendship and support. It is though him that I was able to move back to Utah and not worry about finding a place to live. Living with his family so soon into our new relationship is weird but not so bad... its a lot like in Cali when he had his room I had mine and we would hang out in the common areas.. except now his mom hangs out with us lol. It was been crazy and a trying year on many of us.. but I want to say thank you to my family.. thank you for always being there and for supporting my journey to happiness, espcially Brittany and Aubrie. You guys have been my constant support and I always look forward to talking with you both in the mornings. Thank you to Jessi for being my best Friend and for always listening and to James for helping me more then he could ever know and for being a good person and friend above everything else.

As I go into the new year I look forward to becoming a stronger and better me. overcoming more obstacles and learning Even more about my self.